Monday, June 27, 2005

Deshi Men

Interactions with people have made me think about patterns and deep-seated problems with sexism and very destructive ideas of masculinity. All but one of the deshi men I have had to work with or otherwise be in close proximity to have had obvious sexist opinions, ideas, and concepts, which they have not hesitated to express and act on. If the deshi women I've met have such ideas, they don't push them on me. It is not only degrading, it is also problematic in another way: what is the appropriate way to frame this situation against a background? I think my answer is my moral principle number one: sexism is always immoral, regardless of cultural context. And when the sexists left their countries to come to one of mine, the burden of cultural understanding is on them. I get to do something about this one, because they came to my culture. That's also part of what pisses me off, because these people come to my country and spit in my face. I'm starting to understand how the neonazis and the Republicans can build such support for something really stupid - if enough people feel threatened, they react instead of thinking. I knew that intellectually, but I'm experiencing it emotionally as well. I just want to slap people, because they should know their place - next to me, not above me. Man, if you try to stand above me all you do is make it easy for me to bite your ankles. Cause there will be biting. I'm thinking that deshi men need to be treated like men from the Middle East - proceed with utmost caution until they show themselves to be able to interact with women in a good way.

I'm seriously considering giving automatic bonus credits to Western European men for being more respectful. Thing is, they've pissed me off plenty too.. just not in the same, insanely ridiculously completely unapologetic ways as others. Including American men. I've heard some sick shit come out of the mouths of American men.

And I have to admit... it feels good to think 'go to hell' straight off, because then I don't have to go through the same thing I've gone through for most of this academic year: give them the benefit of the doubt, be polite when they're asses, be polite but curt when they try to make you their mom or try to order you around, and they stay the hell away from them because they're so annoying. Every time here so far. K at Knox was fine - never had any problems with him - but man. Every single deshi guy I've had to deal with more than in passing since then has been a needy, unaware ass of some kind. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sure there are nice guys out there but they're going to have to prove themselves first.