Open letter to migrants to the West

Dear Foreigners From Non-Egalitarian Countries,

I have heard many people say that you shouldn't be allowed to come here. I have heard regular people - not just the extremists on the far right - say that you don't try to fit in here and you create your own communities within our community and don't understand the larger community you are part of. I have also heard people say that you are lazy, that you just want to mooch off of our welfare systems, and that you don't respect women - not those from your countries nor those from ours. I have always thought - and said - that these claims are not reasonable, that most people regardless where they are from are normal, hard-working, honest, respectful people who not only can be part of our societies but can enrich them. I have always thought that open borders make everyone better off in the end.

Both for society at large an in my personal life, I have assumed that a simple model of respect should and is followed. When a minority of people from culture A are trying to live among a majority of culture B, respect is shown for the minority by the majority by being patient with their cultural gaffes and explaining the basis for traditions and manners - by helping the minority understand the majority. Respect is shown for the majority by the minority by the minority trying to adjust and understand the majority.

Basically, I envisioned a simple contract - mistakes are forgiven, because the minority is trying to learn how the majority works, and both try to find common ground so that they can get along. The minority does not have to adjust completely to the majority in every way, but it does have to adjust in key cultural norms and behaviors. The majority does not have to accept all of the minority's cultural behaviors, but some difference in behavior and thought must be tolerated. However, if there is a clash of fundamental values such that the majority and the minority hold mutually incompatible values that are so fundametal that neitherwill give them up, then two options remain. Either then minority must choose to leave, or they must give up those cultural norms after all.

If the minority were refugees, relocation should be attempted, but refugees are a different case from the one that has recently irritated me immensely. When the minority has chosen to come to country B, they have simultaneously agreed to make these cultural adjustments to the country they have chosen to move to. If they have misjudged and realize that their cultural norms are incompatible with the majority's, they still have to adjust if they stay. Just like one cannot rearrange someone else's house to be like one's own when one is visiting, one cannot expect a host country to adjust to your ideas of how things should be run unless you are also prepared to rearrange your country for visitors or expatriates.

It's really very simple: if you choose to come to the West, you have also chosen Westernization. You cannot come here and be the same person you would have been if you hadn't left. For example, if you want a Western education for its academic excellence, you have to consent to cultural Westernization as well. If you try to reject Western cultural norms, you are both not using your experience to the fullest and are being very rude to your hosts, who are not under any moral obligation to let you come to their country. You don't have to bow and say thank you incessantly, but you do have to keep in mind that you are in someone else's home. You don't get to pull the shots. You have to adjust to them, though, when someone else pulls them.

One of the values that absolutely must be respected and practiced every day is egalitarianism. Secular humanism and its values are extremely important in all Western countries (even though American has its own peculiar Christian fundamentalists that reject many humanist values), but out of all its values egalitarianism is the one that underlies almost all human interactions. If you cannot make egalitarianism a value of yours, you should not come to the West at all, or go home if you are already here. The equality of women and men, poor and rich, white, brown, olive, and black, straight and queer, old and young, married and single, powerful and disenfranchised is a value that is completely non-negotiable. Sure, you can find plenty of examples to the contrary. In fact, we have many academic departments studying just how that much principle is violated in practice. But that should also tell you something. No one can argue to justify the discovered violations without being ostracized by society. Once someone says, "You treated me badly because you think I am not equal to that other person", you must defend yourself or accept condemnation by others.

The example that is closest to my heart is equality of men and women. Society has subscribed to egalitarianism for a long time, but it has collectively only slowly realized its logical implications. Women have pointed out for a long time that if all humans are equal, then women must be equal to men in value and humanity and importance, and therefore women must be respected just as much as men are. Or, looking at it from our side, men should be respected just as much as we are. Women have fought for a long time for what is only a logical consequence of a deeply held cultural value. We have been punished harshly physically and mentally for our resistance to mistreatement and abuse by men, but things have progressed. There is still a long way to go, but we can look back and see where we started 300 years ago a long way behind us. I am proud as a woman of my female ancestors, who fought for my freedom. I know my grandmother would be extremely proud of me and my mother, if she were still alive. The world holds so much opportunity for me - so much more than for my grandmother, who was desperately poor in her childhood and had no opportunity for education. I am pursuing a Ph. D. in a male-dominated, high-paying field, I speak five languages, and have legislation and more awareness backing up my right to exist, so to speak.

So, to you who have come to the West: Respect me or go home. I will not put up with your gender roles and your social roles that are based on that someone is always superior. You have no right - no right - to come here and use those values. If you insist on using them - go home. Pack your bags and go home, where you can treat people like shit in peace. Don't you dare come here and think you can talk down to me, order me around and sexually harrass me and call me a slut because you'd do that at home to a woman. When you came here, you agreed to egalitarianism. That it's your "culture" is irrelevant. You agreed to something different when you came here. And if you looked, women where you came from probably have a lot they'd like to change about your culture when it comes to oppression of women, too. Don't you come here and think you're so superior - don't you forget that I don't give a shit who your daddy is, I don't give a shit how much money you have, I don't give a shit how hot you think you are - if you can't treat me with respect, you're getting jack shit back. Simple. Adjust or go home. We didn't have to let you come here in the first place, and you chose to come. Tough shit if you can't handle it.